Talk:Dan Heng

GA review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Dan Heng/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Gommeh (talk · contribs) 14:11, 12 March 2026 (UTC)

Reviewer: Crystal Drawers (talk · contribs) 17:30, 9 April 2026 (UTC)

• Courtesy ping @Crystal Drawers: as it has been a week since the review started. Gommeh ^{(talk! sign!)} 14:32, 16 April 2026 (UTC)

  Apologies, will start review tonight Crystal Drawers 🎖️ ^{(wanna talk?)} 15:19, 16 April 2026 (UTC)

  @Gommeh: All prose comments are now up. When you’re done, let me know so I can do the source review Crystal Drawers 🎖️ ^{(wanna talk?)} 16:06, 20 April 2026 (UTC)

Lead

• "having been released in version 1.0 in 2023" — Wording is a bit awkward
  • Adjusted.

• Is "by critics and players alike" encyclopedic language? I think "both critics and players" would be better
  • Adjusted.

• The lead is quite short, I don’t think it counts as a summary of the entire article if it’s this small. Please expand it to adequately summarize the article
  • I'm satisfied with its length now.

Creation and design

• "Dan Heng appeared as early as October 7, 2021, in miHoYo's first gameplay demonstration trailer for Honkai: Star Rail," — Can you link Honkai: Star Rail? Also, "Dan Heng appeared as early as October 7, 2021" could probably come across better with "Dan Heng's first appearance was as early as October 7, 2021", or something similar
  • Done.

• By "can obtain", do you mean he is immediately available when starting the game, or is he unlocked? Or is it something like Pokémon where he’s one character you can pick? This should be clarified
  • If I remember correctly it is automatic. Removed "can" to clarify this.

• "wielding a spear he calls Cloud-Piercer" — Shouldn’t it be “the Cloud-Piercer"?
  • No, it's just Cloud-Piercer.

• Can you cut down the uses of "version" in the 2nd paragraph?
  • Reworded.

• "for the scene in which Dan Heng uses" — Id say "a scene", since "the scene" usually is for something previously mentioned that others reading the article would already have read about
  • Reworded.

• Is there a reason the Imbibitor Lunae version is in quotations and the Permansor Terrae one isn’t?
  • Unsure why I did that, changed.

• The last paragraph can just be added to the end of another one, preferably the first since voice acting info is pretty integral to articles like this
  • Done.

Story

• "the starship the Xianzhou Luofu" — is the second "the" part of the name? If not, please remove it
  • Yes it is.

• Can you link draconic to something? I’ve personally never heard of the word and didn’t know it was supposed to be something about dragons until the next sentence
  • Done.

• Why was he reincarnated into Dan Heng? Just because?
  • This was a forced reincarnation as punishment for a crime.

• I feel like the section could do a better job explaining who people are, names are thrown at the reader with no explanation as to who they are and what their role in the game is. It doesn’t have to be long explanations for each character, just a brief title or something
  • Tried to do that as best I could, let me know if you think this is good enough.
    • Looks better now Crystal Drawers 🎖️ ^{(wanna talk?)} 23:41, 20 April 2026 (UTC)
• A lot of uses of parenthesis, could you try to cut some of them down?
  • Removed.

• They’re not really close to eachother, but "the two" is used twice in this sub-section, which I find would benefit from changing one of them
  • Done.

• Why not just merge the last two paragraphs? Together they would be pretty similar to the other two
  • Done.

Gameplay

• Prose seems fine, but why do all of these versions have explanations when basically everything said here was already stated in the Creation and design section? I don’t really see a point to this section other than to add more detail on top of stuff already explained
  • This is generally to explain in specifics how his gameplay works. And I've tried to move some of the gameplay-related information from the creation and design section to address this as well.

Character song

• "his transformation into the Vidyadhara High Elder and splitting the sea" — Change to "his transformation into the Vidyadhara High Elder and his splitting of the sea"
  • Done.

• Can you link "poetic tune pattern" to something?
  • This has been done.

• "to convey elements of traditional Chinese cultural spirit" — A bit wordy in my opinion, could you simplify it?
  • Changed to culture

Promotion

• No issues

Reception

• "expressed their appreciation through cosplay as well as by creating fan art." — Consider "expressed their appreciation through cosplay, as well as creating fan art."
  • Done.

• "According to statistics from the data analysis site HonkaiLab, after the release of Dan Heng • Imbibitor Lunae in version 1.3, the game generated over US$9 million in revenue in one day on the mainland Chinese App Store" — I know this was on the day of his release, but did the version of Dan Heng released directly affect the large revenue numbers? Does it say so in the source? If not, I don’t see how this is relevant
  • Removed.

• "not the most important person in the universe" — Not really encyclopedic language. I’m assuming you’re saying “not the most important person in the world of the game" or something along those lines, which would better convey the message
  • Replaced it with a quote from the source itself.

• Link Reddit. Also, is an article quoting Reddit that reliable to be included?
  • Yes, if the article is from a reliable source.

• "The player also produced fan art depicting scenes such as Dan Heng as a child. The fan art was well-received by other players, and the video reached 350,000 views" — Can you combine these two into one?
  • Done using a ; .

Source review

• Checked roughly 33% of sources (11 sources), all came back good, so that’s a pass. Good work!

@Crystal Drawers: Sorry to bother you, but you forgot to close this review. CaptainGalaxy 22:21, 22 April 2026 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.